Authors: Cobaia Kitchen, GLM-5, Claude Sonnet 4.6
Photos: Cobaia Kitchen, Nano Banana 2
Meet GLM-5, Z.ai’s ambitious AI model and, as of this week, our enthusiastic new recipe collaborator. We handed it a prompt, a pantry list, and a few firm ground rules (“no more chickpeas, we mean it”), and it delivered — smoothly, confidently, and without a single complaint. No drama, no existential crisis, no weird ingredient hallucinations. GLM-5 just got on with it, and honestly? The recipe it came up with is genuinely clever. The only hiccup was entirely on the plate: the finished dish turned out a touch on the dense side — hearty enough to keep a Portuguese sailor going through a full Atlantic crossing, which is atmospheric, but perhaps slightly more than intended for a Friday evening in the kitchen.
Speaking of Portuguese sailors — Bacalhau à Brás has been a Lisbon staple since the second half of the 19th century, born in the lively, slightly chaotic Bairro Alto neighbourhood. A tavern keeper by the name of Brás supposedly threw it together from what he had on hand: salted cod, a pile of matchstick potatoes, and eggs to bind it all — basically the ultimate leftovers-dinner, elevated to near-iconic status. The original should be soft, creamy, and comforting without feeling heavy. Five centuries later, with Atlantic cod stocks under serious pressure from decades of overfishing, swapping the salt cod for smoky, protein-rich tofu feels less like a compromise and more like the obvious, delicious thing to do. Our plant-based version nails the spirit of the dish beautifully — just consider going a little lighter on the potato straws if you’d like to drift further from “sailor fuel” and closer to “elegant weeknight dinner.”
Please read the review before cooking!
Portuguese-Style “Bacalhau” à Brás
Equipment
- Kenwood Chef Kitchen Machine (with shredding attachment) or Knife & Cutting Board
- Microwave with Air-fryer function (or Oven)
- Large Frying Pan or Wok
- mixing bowls
- spatula
- kitchen scale
Ingredients
The “Bacalhau” Base:
- 400 g Smoked Tofu diced into small cubes
- 200 g Natural Tofu crumbled into small pieces
- 2 tbsp Olive oil
- 2 large Onions halved and thinly sliced
- 3 cloves Garlic minced
- 2 tbsp Seaweed flakes Nori or generic seaweed flakes
- 2 tbsp No-fish sauce or Soy sauce if unavailable, but No-fish is preferred
- 1 tsp Turmeric for the “egg” color
- 1 tsp Just Spices Bratkartoffelgewürz optional, enhances potato flavor or Smoked Paprika
The Potato Straws:
- 1 kg Potatoes peeled
- 1 tbsp Olive oil
- Salt to taste
The “Egg” Binder:
- 200 ml Oat whipping cream or Soy milk for a lighter version
- 1 tbsp Cornstarch
- Black pepper to taste
Garnish & Side:
- 1 head Broccoli cut into florets
- 50 g Black Olives pitted and sliced
- 1 bunch Fresh Parsley chopped
- 1 Lemon cut into wedges
Instructions
- Prepare the Potato Straws: Peel the potatoes. Using the shredding attachment of your Kenwood Chef (or a knife), cut the potatoes into thin matchsticks (julienne). Rinse them briefly in cold water to remove excess starch and pat them very dry with a clean kitchen towel.
- Air-Fry the Potatoes: Preheat your Air-fryer (or oven to 220°C). Toss the dried potato straws with 1 tbsp olive oil and a pinch of salt (and the Bratkartoffelgewürz if using). Air-fry for 12-15 minutes at 200°C, shaking the basket halfway through, until golden and crispy. Set aside. Tip: If using the oven, spread on a baking sheet lined with baking paper.
- Prepare the "Egg" Mixture: In a small bowl, whisk together the oat whipping cream, cornstarch, turmeric, and a generous amount of black pepper. Set aside. This will mimic the creamy, yellow egg strands of the original dish.
- Cook the "Bacalhau" Base: While the potatoes are frying, heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a large pan over medium heat. Add the sliced onions and a pinch of salt. Sauté for 5-6 minutes until soft and translucent. Add the minced garlic and cook for another minute.
- Add the Tofu & Umami: Add the diced smoked tofu and the crumbled natural tofu to the pan. Sauté for 3-4 minutes until the tofu starts to brown slightly. Stir in the seaweed flakes and the no-fish sauce. Cook for another 2 minutes to let the flavors meld.
- Combine and Bind: Reduce the heat to low. Pour the "egg" cream mixture into the pan, stirring gently and continuously. The mixture will thicken quickly and coat the tofu and onions, creating a creamy sauce. Do not overcook, or it may become too thick; it should look like curds of egg.
- Final Assembly: Remove the pan from the heat. Gently fold in the crispy potato straws (reserve a small handful for garnish) until they are coated in the creamy mixture.
- Prepare the Side: Quickly steam the broccoli florets in a pot with a little water for 3-4 minutes until tender but still bright green. Drain.
- Serve: Divide the Bacalhau à Brás among four plates. Top with the reserved crispy potato straws, sliced black olives, and plenty of fresh chopped parsley. Serve with the steamed broccoli and a lemon wedge on the side.
Notes
Serving suggestions:
Drinks:
Allergens:
- Soybeans (Soy): Present in the Smoked Tofu, Natural Tofu, and the No-fish sauce.
- Cereals containing gluten (Oats): Present in the oat whipping cream.
Emission Hotspots:
- Smoked tofu is the dish’s primary carbon hotspot — the smoking and processing required to produce it significantly increases its footprint compared to regular tofu.
- Shop to home transportation, if a combustion car is used
Sustainability tips:
- Don’t toss the broccoli stalk: Just peel the tough outer layer, dice the tender core into small cubes, and steam it right alongside the florets to get the most out of the vegetable.
- Leave the potato skins on: Scrubbing the potatoes instead of peeling them completely eliminates potato waste while adding extra nutrients, fiber, and a rustic texture to your crispy straws.
- Use the whole herb: Finely chop the fresh parsley stems and sauté them with the onions to extract maximum flavor rather than throwing them away.
- Zest before you squeeze: Zest your lemon before cutting it into wedges, and store the zest in an airtight container in the freezer for a quick citrus punch in future recipes or baked goods.
- Eat local and seasonal: Sourcing locally grown potatoes, onions, and broccoli reduces transportation and storage emissions while supporting your regional farmers.
- Walk or bike to the supermarket and farmer’s market to cut transportation emissions
- Make your guinea pigs 🐹 happy with the remaining parsley and some broccoli leftovers
Carbon Footprint
Featured Story
Pan-Suitable
It was a sunny Thursday morning in Lisbon, the year was 2035, and all Tiago wanted was breakfast.
He opened the fridge and stared at a plastic container on the middle shelf. Something beige, slightly crumbly, vaguely damp. The label read: Textured Marine-Adjacent Flora Substrate, Salty Profile. Tiago poked it with a fork. It wobbled. He closed the fridge and walked to the supermarket.
He came back twenty minutes later with a yellow carton, slightly sweaty, and the look of a man who had survived something. His boyfriend Miguel was sitting at the kitchen table in a bathrobe, reading the news on his tablet. “Did you get the vegan scrambled egg?” Miguel asked. “I got something,” Tiago said, dropping into his chair and placing the carton on the table. Miguel turned it over in his hands. This one was called Ovoid Nutritional Substrate, Pan-Suitable. Last week’s brand had been Morning Protein Event. The one before that, memorably, had called itself Yolk’d until Brussels sent a strongly worded letter. They were all, as far as Tiago and Miguel could tell, exactly the same beige paste in different packaging, made by companies that had apparently each hired a separate philosopher to name their product. Tiago fried the contents without further discussion. They were, quietly and defiantly, delicious.
Afterwards, they sat together with coffee, enjoying the kind of peaceful morning that felt almost normal — until Miguel said: “We should finally buy a new car.” Tiago nodded. They both picked up their tablets.
Thirty minutes later, neither of them had found a single car. Not because there weren’t any, but because you couldn’t search for them anymore. The German automotive lobby — backed enthusiastically and loudly by the Chancellor and the Economy Minister — had successfully pressured Brussels into banning the words “car,” “automobile,” and “automotive” for all electric vehicles. “These are heritage terms,” the Chancellor had declared in parliament, to thunderous applause from three specific rows. “They belong to the combustion engine. They are part of our industrial identity.” The result was that every electric vehicle manufacturer now used a completely different made-up word. Volkswagen called theirs a Fahrgerät. BMW went with Glider. Stellantis, in a moment of apparent despair, had simply named their entire electric range The Thing.
“I found one,” Miguel said finally, leaning forward. “A Fahrgerät. Decent range. Comes in green.” Tiago looked at his screen. “That’s just a Golf.” — “Legally it is not a Golf. It is a Kompakt-Fahrgerät Type 4, Leaf Edition.” — “How much?” — “Forty-two thousand.” — “For a Golf.” — “For a Kompakt-Fahrgerät.” — “Miguel.” — “Tiago.” They stared at each other over their tablets in the warm Lisbon morning light, two grown men in a kitchen that smelled like someone’s philosophical interpretation of scrambled eggs, slowly coming to terms with the world they lived in. Outside, a tram rattled past. Reassuringly, nobody had renamed the tram yet. Tiago made a mental note to enjoy that while it lasted.
Culinary Reality Check
Let’s be honest about something. GLM-5 created this recipe with smooth, admirable confidence — and then went home, leaving us to actually cook it. Here is what happened.
Taste
Good. Genuinely good, the first time. Both taste testers approved, and so did we — right up until the leftovers appeared the next day for lunch, sitting in the fridge with all the enthusiasm of a Monday morning. Eat it fresh, eat it once, eat it with great enthusiasm, and then let it go. Regarding the Bacalhau part: anyone arriving at the table expecting the soulful, briny depth of real salt cod will need to quietly adjust their expectations mid-bite. This is a tofu dish — an excellent, turmeric-yellow, egg-textured tofu dish — but the Atlantic Ocean is not present. Which is absolutely fine, as long as nobody told your guests otherwise.
Portion Size
GLM-5 promised four portions. We got six. The algorithm, it turns out, has a generous spirit and an optimistic relationship with portion sizes. Do not make the mistake of cooking extra for leftovers. See point 1.
Combination
Solid overall. The broccoli is a reliable, if slightly uninspired, supporting character — the kind who shows up, does their job without complaint, and quietly saves the situation by cutting through the richness of the main dish. Be grateful for the broccoli.
Texture
Here, GLM-5 deserves genuine credit: the egg-like texture is a minor triumph, golden and creamy and convincing in all the right ways. The tofu cubes, on the other hand, bear approximately zero resemblance to fish — they are pleasant, but if your goal is to convert a vegan-sceptic by stealth, this is not your vehicle.
Spices
The Bratkartoffelgewürz is listed in the recipe as optional. It is not optional. Treat it as mandatory, non-negotiable, and essential to the dignity of the dish. The broccoli, meanwhile, arrives completely unspiced — which is technically fine, but could be so much better with a little encouragement.
Timing
The recipe promises 30 minutes. This is the kind of optimism usually reserved for people who have never actually cooked anything. Budget a full hour, move calmly, and do not invite anyone who is punctual.
Processing
One kilogram of potatoes, air-fried in batches, for four people. In theory: crispy, golden perfection. In practice: a logistical puzzle in which half the guests eat hot food while the other half eat philosophy. We saw this coming and switched to a convection oven from the start. So should you.
Completeness
No missing ingredients, no significant gaps — a minor formatting hiccup where the Bratkartoffelgewürz appears in the Bacalhau section instead of the potato section, which is the culinary equivalent of finding your keys in the fridge. Harmless, but slightly disorienting.
Environment
Here is the corrected environment section:
9. Environment
A middling C-rating — respectable enough by the standards of a Tuesday, but not the green triumph the recipe’s plant-based credentials might suggest. The culprit is the smoked tofu, which carries a surprisingly hefty carbon footprint for something that looks so innocent sitting on a supermarket shelf. The dish is unquestionably better for the planet than its salt cod ancestor, but if you were hoping to coast on environmental virtue points alone, the tofu has other ideas.
Health
A climate-friendly, protein-rich, genuinely nourishing dish. To fully align with EAT-Lancet Planetary Health Diet standards, the generous potato portion would ideally be scaled back in favour of whole grains or additional vegetables — but for a satisfying, plant-based weeknight dinner, this clears the bar comfortably.
Tips for Redemption
- Cook exactly as many portions as you need. This is not a dish that improves with time, distance, or a night in the fridge.
- Buy more parsley than you think you need. Then buy more.
- Think of this less as a standalone main and more as the star of a larger vegetable ensemble — the more greens alongside it, the better everything gets.
